These days I'm very paranoid of whether or not I'm a bad person in society. I'm 20 but due to certain life circumstances I'm rather naive for my age. Nowadays I've been thinking a lot about moral things or situations and how I should think about them, because of my naivety sometimes I just don't know. These are things no one else would worry about. Recently I thought some things were true or ok nd now I'm scared that they actually weren't and I'm a bad person now. I really never had bad intentions and I'm scared that if people find out I'd be (rightfully) isolated I feel like i shouldn't let this go. . I wake up with extreme anxiety in my stomach and chest everyday. I never wanted to be a bad person but it feels as though no matter how hard I try I just can't avoid doing terrible things and this is who I am, I just wanted to be a normal person with normal, good values. I can't even cry because I'm just so used to this now. Maybe this is how my life is going to be forever.
Please hear this first: the pattern you're describing — constant moral self-interrogation, fear of being secretly bad despite never having bad intentions, physical anxiety on waking — is a very recognizable anxiety pattern, and it's treatable. So my honest recommendation isn't "stop worrying and live normally" (you can't will that off), and it isn't "keep investigating until you're sure you're good" (that search has no finish line). It's this: treat the anxiety itself as the thing to address, and book a session with a therapist or your GP within the next two weeks, describing exactly what you wrote here — the daily chest anxiety, the intrusive moral doubt, the fear of being exposed. In the meantime, live normally *alongside* the worry rather than waiting for it to resolve first: keep your routines, keep seeing people, and if a specific past action genuinely troubles you, write it down once, name one concrete repair if one exists, do it, and then let the list be closed rather than reopened each morning.
I'm confident about the general direction — treat the anxiety, get professional input, don't chase moral certainty — because the pattern you describe is coherent and the platform's closest similar case pointed the same way. Confidence is held down because no real evidence or community input was available, and because you haven't said what the actual actions were; if something genuinely harmful happened, part of the response would shift toward concrete repair. Knowing the specifics, how long this has lasted, and whether you have any support would move this up or down considerably.
A personal take from the founder — not the AI analysis.
Hi, this is the person who runs Todak. Thank you for writing this here. Reading it, the first thing I notice is that you've gone past asking whether one particular action was wrong — you're putting your whole self on trial, every single day, over whether you're fundamentally a bad person. I don't know what it is you think you did, so I'm not going to tell you "you did nothing wrong." But a good person isn't someone who has never once misjudged something in their whole life. It's much closer to someone who, when they realize they got something wrong, owns it, apologizes if they need to, and then learns and keeps living. You don't have to be able to judge every moral situation perfectly at twenty. Most people build their sense of right and wrong by living it, making mistakes, and hearing other people's stories along the way. Right now, I'd gently suggest stopping the trial of "am I a bad person?" and instead asking: What did I actually do? Was anyone actually harmed? If so, what can I put right? And then — what do I learn from it, and what do I let go of? And if the anxiety is bad enough that your stomach and chest hurt every morning, and it feels like it might last forever — please don't carry that pain alone. Telling your story, exactly as it is, to a counselor or a mental health professional is a genuinely worthwhile step. You wouldn't be going to have your morality judged — it's closer to going to learn how to step out of the trial that keeps replaying in your head. And if you want, you can tell me the specific thing here too. I won't just tell you it's all fine no matter what. But I'll help you calmly work out what the real problem is, what's feeding the anxiety, and what you can do right now. I really hope you won't let this morning's anxiety pass judgment on your whole life.
Todak weighs real evidence, community experience, and similar past decisions first — the recommendation above is the synthesis, not a guess.
No web evidence was retrieved for this — the recommendation leans on the layers below and general reasoning.
No community experiences yet for situations like this. As people share, this fills in.
→ Don't frame this as theatre vs. stability — take income that covers your baseline costs while protecting your theatre commitments, and set a concrete 6–12 month test period with defined criteria (paid roles, hours, contacts, income from theatre) to decide whether theatre can carry more weight. Prefer a job with predictable or flexible hours over the highest-status full-time offer, since evening/weekend availability is what theatre actually requires.
→ Before deciding to keep grinding or change direction, spend the next 2–4 weeks measuring your actual trajectory with numbers instead of feeling — pull together your income over the last 24–36 months, your savings rate, and your debt balance, and compare the trend line. Let that data, not fatigue, drive the decision; if the trend is clearly upward and your runway is safe, the default is to continue with recovery adjustments, not to switch paths.
→ A quiet stretch isn't a verdict. Before you decide what it means, it's worth finding out whether you're both just tired or actually pulling away.
→ The very fact that you're worried about failing is a sign you're not. What kids carry forward is far less about perfect days and far more about a parent who kept showing up.
→ You're not imagining this and you're not broken — free-floating morning dread is one of the most recognizable anxiety patterns there is, and it responds to treatment. My honest recommendation: book an appointment with your GP or a therapist within the next two weeks and describe it exactly as you wrote it here — waking up anxious, no identifiable trigger, and it trails you all day. Ask them to rule out physical contributors too (thyroid, sleep quality, caffeine and alcohol load, and any medication you're already on — don't change anything yourself, let them advise). While you wait, don't try to solve the dread by thinking your way to its cause. Instead, change what the first 30 minutes of your day look like: get light on your face early, put your feet on the floor within a few minutes of waking rather than lying there scanning, and give the dread a five-minute written outlet — a page where you dump whatever the feeling attaches itself to — so it has somewhere to go besides your chest. Then go on with your day alongside the anxiety rather than waiting for it to lift first.
The real uncertainty isn't whether you're a good person — it's whether this is ordinary moral growing-up being amplified by an anxiety condition, which is something only a clinician talking with you can properly assess.
Better if: Best if the anxiety is daily, physical, and interfering with your life — which is exactly what you described.
Better if: Only worthwhile as a one-time, bounded exercise — write it down once, act on anything real, then close it.
Better if: Better as a companion to treatment — living normally *while* anxious — not as a standalone plan.
Better if: Good first step if there's someone steady in your life and professional help feels far off.
Todak offers general help, not professional advice. For medical, legal, financial, or mental-health matters, please consult a qualified professional. You make the final call.
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